WE USED TO HAVE THIS KILLER Christmas Tradition. Remember that scene in ‘A Christmas Story,’ where everything’s gone to shit on Christmas Day, the neighbor dogs have ransacked the kitchen and demolished the turkey and everybody’s freaking out and waiting for the Old Man to fly off the hinge…
“Alright! Everybody upstairs. Get Dressed. We are going out… to eat!”
Then they go to the only restaurant in town that’s open, the local Chinese joint. The place is empty. The kitchen staff are singing carols in broken English. They bring out the duck and cut the head off with a cleaver at the dinner table. Mom screams. Everybody laughs. Classic.
In homage, we started this yearly tradition of starting our Christmas that way. On Christmas Eve, we’d pack up the kids, take the foot ferry from Bremerton to Port Orchard, look at the light displays along the shoreline from the water, then walk the half mile through the cold, or rain, or whatever the weather may be up to the Chinese joint that looks out over the bay. Sometimes the kids hated it. Sometimes we’d have to rush to get back to the dock for the last ferry of the night so that we didn’t really ruin Christmas. It was awesome.
We got in a few good years. Had some idyllic experiences. But ever since the pandemic, that trip has been more and more of a crap shoot. And the restaurant has been packed. Remember the ‘take-out-only’ days of the lockdown? That year, I remember standing in the parking lot. It’s packed to the gills with running cars and pissed off people. The restaurant was so busy they had shut and locked the doors and they weren’t answering the phone. People were upset. Families were fighting. Christmases were ruined… Even that year, classic. The memories!
That’s the beauty of the unconventional Christmas.
That kind of unconventional beauty has been on full display these past few years in Bremerton on the first friday of December when dozens of Krampus roam the downtown corridor. How do you say that, Krampi? Is that the plural of Krampus? Or is it like groups of birds and animals? A flock of Krampus? Nah. A herd? A Rookery?!
Let us know what you think, check out the itinerary and try something unconventional this Christmas. // NICK SLEDGE
UNCOVENTIONAL CHRISTMAS ITINERARY
*PARTY w/ KRAMPUS
Krampusnacht is the night of Dec. 1 in Bremerton. Plus organizer Eric Morely is next on the Smokestack’s Local Legends live podcast w/ Josh Farley, filming 6 p.m. the night of the winter solstice at the Manette Saloon and there’s a slew of Krampus happening thru the month. Full list of Krampus-ness at krampusbremerton.com.
*HANGOUT w/ VIKINGS
The Annual Poulsbo Julefest is Dec. 2 w/ Scandinavian street food and vendors, Lucia Bride rowed to shore, a Viking Bonfire and more on the Poulsbo waterfront… poulsbosonsofnorway.com
*GO SEE SOME PYGMY GOATS
A National Pygmy Goat Association-sanctioned goat show, yes that is a thing, Dec. 8-10, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., in the sheep barn at the Fairgrounds, Bremerton… cascadepygmygoat.com
*CHRISTMASTIME REGGAE
Award-winning Maui Reggae/R&B singer/songwriter Anuhea comes to the Tracyton Movie House Dec. 9 on her All Is Bright Tour w/ local band Stay Grounded opening… tracytonmoviehouse.com, anuheajams.com
*DAVID BOWIE TRIBUTE
David Bowie Tribute Band… At Christmas time… What more is there to say? Seattle band Order Of The Blackstar Dec. 16 at the Roxy… roxybremerton.org, blackstartribute.com
*GET YOUR RUNES READ
The ancient practice of telling one’s past, present and future using rune stones, plus Nordic Santa, more Krampus, another Viking Bonfire, Viking face paint, karaoke and more, 1-9 p.m. Dec. 16 at Bushel & Barrel’s Ciderhouse Yule… @bushelandbarrelciderhouse
*AND IF YOU’RE INTO THE MORE CONVENTIONAL STUFF…
Check out the Holiday Stuff in our Stuff Calendar.
